


With a Grain of Salt

by Azriel_Lolita



Category: The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Crack, Fluff, M/M, Morning Routines, Pranks and Practical Jokes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-31
Updated: 2015-07-31
Packaged: 2018-04-12 05:17:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4466837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azriel_Lolita/pseuds/Azriel_Lolita
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><a href="http://morwen-giliath.tumblr.com/post/125363575814/rpfunstuff-imagine-person-a-of-your-otp-switching"> inspired on this tumblr post:</a> imagine person a (Legolas) of your otp switching the sugar out with salt before person b (Thranduil) is awake. person b makes their coffee before so much as glancing in person a’s general direction, as usual, and dumps a butt load of “sugar” into their coffee before drinking it. person a is fighting back laughter and tears until they realize person b is giving them a death glare while they gulp down their entire 16 oz. cup of salty coffee without skipping a beat because they are the alpha and what is weakness.</p>
            </blockquote>





	With a Grain of Salt

**Author's Note:**

> I'm really nervous to post it because people seemed to like the first Thrandolas fic I posted and I'm afraid that will mean you all have expectations as to what to expect from me. And it's always bad to have expectations when it comes to me, because I never ever meet them.

Legolas stretched out on the bed he shared with Thranduil and sighed contentedly to himself before rolling over and snuggling into the side of the still sleeping form of his father.

Wait a second.

Still sleeping?

That almost never happens.

Legolas cracked an eye open to confirm, and sure enough Thranduil was still sprawled out on their massive bed like a star fish. With his mouth agape and his long platinum hair a tangled mess beneath him, Thranduil looked nothing like the regally imposing and serious figure he usually made when awake. Legolas’ mouth split into a grin and his eyes lit up. He actually woke up before his ada; this is the perfect time to make some mischief.

Legolas carefully got off the bed and threw on his underpants that were still lying on the floor where they were flung the night before. Silently he slipped out of the door and down the hall to the kitchen where there was just so much trouble he couldn’t wait to get into.

Standing in the doorway, Legolas surveyed the kitchen mentally going over Thranduil’s morning routine and trying to figure out what he could do to cause maximum chaos to Thranduil’s morning in the shortest amount of time. Legolas’ eyes landed on the coffee maker. Perfect. Thranduil was in a practically zombified state until he was able to finish his first large cup of coffee. This could be considered either pranking brilliance, or having a death wish. Legolas decided to take his chances.

After firmly shutting the kitchen door behind him, Legolas made his way over to the coffee cupboard and opened it, taking out the sugar jar. After rummaging around the kitchen momentarily Legolas returned to the countertop with an empty container, the large canister of salt, and a cup of orange juice for himself. As carefully as Legolas could, he emptied the sugar into the container and refilled the sugar jar with salt. Legolas jumped as he heard the bedroom door open. He ran around the kitchen trying to hide all evidence of the crime he committed against his ada’s precious coffee.

Right as Thranduil opened the kitchen door. Legolas flung himself onto a countertop next to the fridge and attempted to casually sip from his drink and not quite managing to actually achieve a look of casual nonchalance. Thranduil stopped short at the sight of his son on the counter and his eyes narrowed slightly for a fraction before he trudged over to the coffee maker running a hand through his sleep disheveled hair.

The silence stretched between them as Thranduil waited for his coffee to brew and Legolas had to bite his lips to keep from smirking, his face turning red at the strain of keeping the bubbling laughter inside. Legolas tried to distract himself by drinking in the sight of his father in just an over sized flannel shirt, the hem of which just reached the top of his thighs, which wasn’t helping his attempt to seem innocent. Judging by his elevated pulse and flushed face, not at all, although it would make for a good excuse if Thranduil asked him why his face was so red.

Soon the rich smell of coffee filled the air and Thranduil sighed as he reached for his coffee cup, pausing for a moment before grabbing his son’s usual mug as well as his own. All the joy Legolas was feeling over pranking his ada had evaporated and his face fell as he watched Thranduil pour the coffee into both mugs and adding a small amount of creamer and four heaping spoonfuls of “sugar” to make their coffee extra sweet.

Oh shit.

“I have a feeling you might need this today,” Thranduil murmured as he handed the mug over to his son.

Legolas swallowed heavily as he reached for his ‘I Solemnly Swear I am up to no Good’ mug, missing Thranduil’s smirk at the fitting words that were written on it. There was no way his father knew. He was so careful, so stealthy. Legolas was the very image of innocence, besides his shifty eyes and reddening face and obvious glee at being so devious up until now. He was so sure he pulled off the perfect prank that he assumed being stuck with the salty coffee was just bad luck.

That was until he took a fake sip of his coffee and saw the look on his father’s face.

“Is something the matter ‘Las?”

Thranduil’s voice was full of glee and Legolas found himself not liking the devious smirk on his father’s face.

“No ada, not at all.”

Legolas looked on in shock as Thranduil kept eye contact with him, raised the mug to his lips, and gulped down the salty contents in one go as if there was nothing at all wrong with it. Legolas was completely flabbergasted, mouth hanging open in awe, as Thranduil crossed the kitchen to take the mug from Legolas’ hand and pour the contents down the sink.

“Did you really think I wouldn’t know?”

Legolas stared at his father with wide eyes as he shook his head.

“The floor is covered in sugar, nin titta las, I stepped in it as soon as I walked in. Only you could manage to get sugar on the floor near the door even though the coffee counter is all the way over there.”

Thranduil smirked as he put both mugs on the counter and moved in putting his hands up on the cupboard on either side of Legolas’ head.

“And you looked so deliciously guilty.”

Legolas gulped as he noticed the playful glint in his father’s eye before his father leaned in closer, forcing Legolas’ legs apart as he got right up next to the edge of the counter. Leaning in close he pressed a quick, chaste kiss to Legolas lips. After pulling back and looking into Legolas’ eyes, Thranduil smirked and moved back in as if going for another kiss before dodging Legolas’ lips at the last second and whispering into Legolas’ ear.

“Besides, I knew that living with you as a lover and a son would always have to be taken with a grain of salt.”

Legolas groaned at the joke as Thranduil winked at him before turning around and making his way back of to his coffee counter. Legolas was sure Thranduil was walking with a purposely teasing swish of his hips that made the bottom of his shirt ride up just enough that Legolas got a glimpse of his father’s pert and perfect ass. Thranduil got to work making another cup of coffee, this time grabbing the container of sugar that Legolas thought he so expertly hid on the top shelf behind the canisters of loose leaf tea.

“You won’t be getting off that easily though ‘Las, the amount of salt I just ingested is going to wreak havoc on my blood pressure today. You will most definitely be getting punished later.”

**Author's Note:**

> Elvish (from translations I found on multiple websites, so they may not be entirely accurate)  
> nin titta las - my little leaf
> 
> Fun fact: while doing some research for this fic I stumbled upon an article claiming that having sex can lower your blood pressure. Since Legolas was the reason that Thranduil ingested so much salt which raises blood pressure, Legolas should also be the reason his blood pressured is lowered as well. That might be his punishment, if I can manage write sex, which is super duper embarrassing. 
> 
> (I should apologize for making Thranduil go very out of character and make a bad dad joke, but I'm not sorry at all.)


End file.
